If you know me or had followed my story since I started telling it in 2013, you would have figured out that I *LOVE* running and am (was) a pretty active person. In the last few months, I hadn't really managed a run. The last time I did a proper run was in December 2014, where I attempted a 10km run at the annual Standard Chartered run. (I can't remember if I'd blogged about this before...) I was stubborn and pushed myself to do the run even though I had some tinkling pains in my SI joints and completed 10km in the LONGEST time ever I had taken to run 10km (1.5hours).
I've done quite a bit of self reflection recently. I realize that I am competitive by nature, and that is partly (or fully) why I love running so much. I always want to outdo myself, outdo my last personal best, outdo the last distance I was able to accomplish. Even with a mini flare up, I stubbornly turned up at the starting line of the 10km race and pushed myself to finish. Bottom line is - I must accomplish the goals I set for myself!
I thought back further and realized that I had stubbornly popped anti-inflammatory meds, so that I could compete in and complete the 21km Standard Chartered Race back in 2013.
I medicated myself daily with Arcoxia during my Nepal trip in October 2013, so that I could trek the Annapurna Trail.
And most recently, I medicated myself daily on my trip to Iceland, where there was also some trekking and lots of walking involved.
Each and every push mentioned above was done *DURING* a flare up. Worth it? In some sense, YES. Because I achieved a goal each time.
But I was ALSO rewarded each time with a mighty and powerful flare up after. (Also because I refused to continue on the meds after I had accomplished my goal - again, stubborn, since I did not like "being dependent" on my meds.)
On a more recent and simple example, as I am currently battling with my all-time worst flare up, I had a GOOD day! What I mean by good day is - although I still feel pain - I am still able to move about in a relatively mobile fashion. My steps were quicker, and my back was more flexible. I still had those stabbing pains each time I turned my neck....but it was a GOOD day! And all this, without meds! *Joy!*
And what I did on my good day - took a 30 minute walk with my dog in the park, swam as many laps as I felt I could, went for acupuncture, bought fruits from the supermarket (heavy) and went out for a movie at night.
As you can imagine, I had a massive flare up the next day.
Which got me thinking... I have to moderate myself! I will now be the first to admit that I am the queen of self-denial. I still thought I could be normal, and do all the normal things I used to be able to do - run, jump, swim - with no limit.
But you know what? I'm NOT normal, I have an auto-immune disease which gives me pain and fatigue and on some days, emotional weakness.
And it's OKAY. I think I've finally come to terms with it, and new realization dawned upon me - I need to know my limits, and adhere to it!
And it will be like running. When I first started running, I could not run more than 3km. Slowly but surely, I could increase my distance and stamina with each run I did. Likewise, when I swim now, I will start with maybe 10 laps, then increase a few laps each time - up to a point where I do not experience bigger flare ups the next day!
Remember, all things in moderation and you will be fine!
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